Food For Thought

8/12/2011

I’ve written before about our work as a family at the Berkeley Men’s Shelter. We love it, if that’s the right word, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that we are giving back to our community in some small way. Our work in the kitchen is almost Zen-like, offering quiet, contemplative time before we organize and serve at a frantic pace in the dining room.

When each night is over, the Novaks will be the ones not hoarding food into pockets and bags because we know where our next meal is coming from.

The reason I say this is because while I know I should be writing pithy statements on the coiffed hair debate last night, or the state of the state fair in Iowa and who, gasp, might actually show up, I truly can’t stomach the thought. I will leave the morning after QB-ing to those who write - and pith - much better than I.

So, permit me to turn the conversation around a bit. We hold this truth to be self-evident: for every person to live a good life, someone must live a tougher one. For me to eat in McDonalds, someone has to be there to flip my burger (okay, I don’t eat mammals, but you know what I mean.) For me to “feel good” about working in a homeless shelter, someone must be homeless.

It is a given that someone will always have more than us, while others will suffer a great deal more as well. What I find remarkable is that people can actually not care about those less fortunate. That someone, namely a politician, can spend so much time and energy meeting with lobbyists or beating back tax increases, when they really need to roll up their sleeves and scrub pots and pans after 50 men have inhaled what looks like their last meal. You cannot look these people in the eye and feel anything but compassion.

Barbara Ehrenreich has just penned this terrific essay on the state of the nickel and dimed here in America. As a follow up to her phenomenal best seller of a decade ago, the author touches base on how things have so deeply not improved since the time she doffed a waitress uniform and gave it a whirl at surviving on $5 an hour. It’s a must read reminder that while the media has mourned the plight of the middle class and their mortgages, folks who never quite got a leg up in life are now hip deep in shit and holding their noses.

And while you’re at truthout, stop on by this article on “bad black moms” by a young writer who reminds us that life squats on some people like a venomous toad. The argument is made that poverty is criminalized in America. If life is bad now, what are the chances it will ever get better?

That’s my poverty rant for today. Both these writers do it better, so I want to steer you their way.

And I want to remind myself that when we begin to argue about who has to clean up the kitchen tonight after dinner, what a blessing it will be to have that to groan about. How about you?

31 Comments

jeff

8/12/2011 06:41:15

Dear Laura,

Thanks for the reminder of what is truly important. This was truly a powerful piece.

Jeff

Jacquelynn Fr link

8/12/2011 07:00:56

I not only believe that helping the Homeless is Patriotic, but our duty as well! Our country was founded by thousands of Men and Women coming to America with nothing more than the shirt on their backs,essentially homeless but with hope in their hearts.
Then there are the countless others that migrated across this country in wagons and on foot, to find homes in the west. Most of them came with next to nothing.

In todays world, unfortunately most that are homeless do not have hearts full of hope. Instead they have become the "invisible people". Everyone knows they are here, but no one wants to see them, Or help them. Many have serious Mental Illnesses, and being homeless they no access to medical help or medication. A large majority of the Homeless are children. There are few options open to a homeless child, and most of those are not pretty.

America is known as the "Land of Plenty", and as "The Land of Milk and Honey". Yet most homeless can not get the help they need, due to inadequate funding. America is hilling to "help" third world country's feed their people. We are willing to fight wars on foreign soil were we do not belong. But we can not "afford" to help our Poor and Homeless.

I am a 3 time cancer survivor (age 10, brain tumor[Menegeoma], age 21 Uterine Cancer [discovered when I was 6 months pregnant], age 36 skin cancer), as well as a Service Connected Disabled Veteran (US Army 6 years).

I Garden and give the produce to my local food bank, I do charity sewing (cancer hats, preemie onesies, homeless sleeping bag kits, blankets for Project Linus and much more), I am very active in the DAV as well as performing Honor Guard duty for Military funerals along side of the VFW, American Legion and DAV.

My Husband has lost over 30 inches of intestine due to Crohn's disease and has not worked in over 3 years and is waiting to be accepted on Social Security. Our oldest son at home is bi-polar. Its not like I have a lot to give myself as I am a Service Connected Disabled Veteran living on the pennies the VA (Veterans Administration) deems is a living monthly wage (not much..under a $1000 a month)

To say that things are tight is an understatement, but we always manage to squeak by. My car doesn't go into reverse unless it has been running to warm up for over a half an hour. This means anytime I park, I have to find a pull through spot, just in case I can't back up. It may be a beater and all rusted through but it is paid for and the only transportation I have. Which since we have so many medical problems in our family and we have to drive over an hour one way to get to the various Doctors, we pray every time we get into the car, that it will make it to our destination "just one more time".

My life's motto is, Nothing is so bad, that you can not over come it. Laughter goes a long way to making yourself, and those around you feel better. I try and make the most out of every day. I have done so much in my life. I lived in Europe, I sang in a band, I play Cello and Bass, and you know, I don't think I would have done so much if I had not had cancer. My personal philosophy about life reflects the Tim McGraw song "Live like you're dying".

8/12/2011 07:22:19

This was a wonderful post Laura. Thank you so much for showing us your compassion and reminding us what is important.

Marie

8/12/2011 07:38:31

Thank you for your support of the less fortunate. I am guilty for not being consistent in my ability to support these precious souls. I do good for a while and then my life kind of takes over. Your thoughts and actions are a good reminder to all of us.

NSG

8/12/2011 07:40:32

More thanks for this very thoughtful and inspirational post, Laura.

And in the context of other discussions around here, I'd just like to reflect that this spirit is quite aligned with what that guy from Nazareth was talking about 2000 years ago.

Peace to you, your family, those you'll serve, and the rest of us, while I'm at it.

8/12/2011 08:02:00

i also thank you for the reminder. I grew up in a family like yours, with parents who were always doing for others. Among other things we had many foster siblings. Those kids, all middle-aged by now, are the people I have in mind when I consider the real-life implications of govt policies. I hope some of those kids were able to get themselves together but I know many of them were not.

Bless you for helping.

Viola-Alex

8/12/2011 08:03:42

Thank you, Laura, and fellow/sister commenters for spreading the good word on a Friday. I get so full of rage and hopelessness, I need to be nudged back to a sane place.

Lidia17

8/12/2011 09:05:30

I bought "Nickled and Dimed" when it first came out, and have tracked Barbara Ehrenreich's work loosely thereafter. There are free podcasts out there on the Internet where you can listen to some of her media appearances if you cannot afford her books. But then if you cannot afford her books you may already have had her experiences or something similar… :-/

On one show I heard (can't remember the link) she attests to how much harder it would be to find pickup low-skilled work nowadays than at the time she was seeking employment and writing about her experiences… in ten years a LOT has happened to alienate people even more from potential jobs.

Bill Moyers is another one of the few media figures who've cared to document the real situation among the poor in America over the last few decades, when "go-go" investment stories overshadowed many realities. Now in his seventies, he finally quit his regular broadcasting career, but you can still get podcasts from the last se eral years at: http://feeds.pbs.org/pbs/moyers/journal-audio. Anyway, wherever you find him, seek him out because he has a very open and eclectic range of interlocutors (high falutin' word, but "interviewees" sounded worse).

The situation recently come to light of the worker who went to cash a check drawn on a certain bank, and who was wrongly refused the clearly available funds by said bank merely because he was a black immigrant, which led to a whole "comedy" of errors whereby he lost his job, his car, etc, for want of the money they irrationally and illegally withheld from him… this the status quo that many people living on the edge have to deal with. I think their stories are sometimes worse than that of the truly abject poor because what greater amount they have at their supposed disposition is almost more easily taken from them.

Laura Novak link

8/12/2011 09:25:04

One of the things that strikes me so hard every time we turn the light off in the kitchen and lock the door behind us at the shelter, is that the lives of, I'd guess, 99-100% of the men we fed that night will never get better. Never. Sometimes I see them on the street later. They are not fakers panhandling. Their lives are hell.

And once in a while there is the person who you just can't look in the eye because you know he is upper middle class and something horrible happened for him to land there handing his plate to you. "More beans?" is better than asking, "What the hell happened?"

You know, we could probably do more as a family. But I'm glad this is what we do. It's manageable and it's meaningful.

Thank you, Jacquelynn, and others, for sharing your thoughts here. Yes Jesus, regardless of your views on religion, got right down to it and worked. At least that's my view on it. And I'll tell you, the men argue about who will say the blessing before we start serving. They give thanks. Really, it breaks my heart.

Lidia17

8/12/2011 10:03:10

Laura, it's great work that you do. When we were in the US DH and I volunteered a bit, but in Italy there seem to be way fewer homeless and many more existing social structures to deal with problems when they arise. By the same token, families are more propense to try to deal with issues "in house" to the extent that they can.

All of the scarcity of food and housing in the US at this point is artificial, it's sad to say.

Lidia17

8/12/2011 10:06:42

@Laura, you may know that their lives are not going to necessarily get better, but you know that——at least for one day——they will not get worse. Thanks for your contributions.

DebinOH

8/12/2011 10:13:28

This is a huge problem in our country because many of the people who live on the streets have mental issues. How we as a country could just cast them aside is just beyond my comprehension. I know so many families who have bi-polar or schizophrenic adult children that they can't get help for.

The people who just think that these people can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and change their lives are beyond heartless. I can't understand why people who don't believe that abortion should be allowed seem to be the people who don't want to help the parents out when they have the child. They don't want the people to be able to have health care either.

When I was a christian I was a leader in the youth group. The teenagers wanted to get out there and help, but the adults didn't allow them to do anything. It was disturbing on so many levels and none of it was lost on the youth either. They honestly felt like everyone talked the talk but never walked the walk.

Thank you Laura for showing your son what it is to give back to the community. We all complain which is normal but man are we very fortunate to have homes, health, jobs and food.

I really like Bill Moyers. He is able to talk to everyone from every faith or lack thereof with kindness and he seems to actually listen. I have never heard him screaming or trying to make his views the right answer. Too bad there aren't more people out there like him. Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Rush and their ilk sure could take some serious lessons from him. Our world would be a much better place.

Cracklin Charlie

8/12/2011 10:15:44

Thank you for this wonderful post, Laura. Blessings to you and your family for all you do.

To borrow another commentor's name here, I am fed up with the way our society treats the less fortunate. It saddens and disgusts me to hear people that I know disparage those that have less than they themselves have. I have become convinced that this is part and parcel of the Rovian playbook. If they can get people to go after those that have less, those people will leave the rich to their dirty deeds.

It brings to mind a lesson that I heard often as a child...There but for the grace of God go I.

Love One Another.

DebinOH

8/12/2011 10:25:26

Jacquelynn, wow are you positive. I hope your husband is able to get on social security. My son just found out he has Crohn's and his medication just for that costs $528.80 a MONTH (through our insurance it is $40). He is only 24 and in school.

IF the health care law hadn't been in place so that we could keep him on our health care plan he would be in deep doo doo. Not only that but I am so worried no one will ever accept him after we will no longer be able to.

I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I am for that. Somehow we will make sure that regardless of whatever comes his way that we will always help him out.

My heart breaks for all the people who can't afford their medications or don't have people to help them (and everything else). We have got to keep fighting for the people who need our help. That is why the current republican wannabee runners for president scare the crap out of me. They are a heartless bunch.

FrostyAK

8/12/2011 10:42:13

Thanks to all of those who help. And yes, the man from Gallilee would be grateful for what you do. I've noticed over time, it is those who don't have a lot to give that give the most.

There is a travesty playing itself out in Anchorage. There are not near enough shelter beds for the homeless. During the summer the majority make it a point to camp out in the city parks, in blue tarp tents. Many make a terrible mess, but they have nowhere else to go. Many are street drunks and/or mentally ill. A number die each year even in summer, alone and forgotten.

Instead of trying to find a way to get these people off the streets in a reasonable manner, the holier than thou fundy mayor has made it a priority to raid the homeless camps, and confiscate everything they do have. One homeless man had a sit-in in front of city hall to call attention to the crap being dealt the homeless. Mayor Dan Sullivan's solution? Arrest him and make a law that prohibits sitting on the sidewalk. Told the homeless man to get cleaned up before he would even think about talking to him.

Here Winter is making noises about being on the way (termination dust on the peaks and the fireweed in it's third bloom). These same people will still be homeless for the winter. Some will find shelter on the nights when the temps go below zero. Others will not be so fortunate.

Beans Cafe feeds as many as they can. Other private organizations help as they can. More will die this winter, it happens every year. Mayor Dan doesn't care - he screwed the city over for $180,000. that he says was an insurance policy taken out on his father (mayor a long time ago). Even though no one can locate such a policy or verify that it actually existed, he got the money from the taxpayers when the old man died. Corruption at it's most glaring.

I'm afraid as the economy worsens, the government will do less and less for the have-nots and more and more for the rich. I don't believe Americans have the intestinal fortitude to do what was done in 1776. A shame, really...

Karen

8/12/2011 11:02:51

I was really touched by this post. My brother was schizophrenic and was homeless off and on, in a psych ward on and off. (He passed away at 38 of a brain tumor.) But he was always very grateful for the people who helped him, whether volunteers at the city mission, the nurses or social workers, even the cop who picked him up one time when he had snuck out of the psych center without being released and I called to have him picked up. He had great compassion for other people on the streets and an incredible love of life (and even greater love of food!), despite his circumstances.
I just wanted to give you the perspective that for some of the people you serve, just seeing a familiar face or a harmonious family is a huge gift and makes their life a little better in and of itself.

rubbernecking

8/12/2011 11:25:27

Laura, thanks for the lovely post. This reminded me why I'm glad to be a part of your reading community.

Cheers.

emrysa

8/12/2011 13:30:30

great post laura, thanks - and thanks for helping others!

8/12/2011 23:07:09

It was wonderfully refreshing to read your post, Laura. Thank you. Collectively, we are experiencing an extremely chaotic time right now and, for many of us, the ongoing negativity we read and hear day in and day out is pretty overwhelming at times. There are those who are motivated by fear and, consequently, operate from a base of service to self and those who move through their daily lives in service to others. As you mention, many of us in the latter category do find it “remarkable… that people can actually not care about those less fortunate”. Moreover, witnessing…for years…the external and temporary rewards these people receive for this uncaring, negative behavior (and the support they garner from others who believe as they do) is often disconcerting. So we do what we must. We do what we have always done. We remain on our paths of service to others in whatever ways we are able and continue to mine for truth. Jim Rohn wrote, “Words do two major things: They provide food for the mind and create light for understanding and awareness.” Keep shining your light, Laura, and we will continue to join you.

lilly lily

8/13/2011 00:21:38

The church members in the county I live in do volunteer work. They build houses abroad for the homeless, feed the hungry here, donate money to the abused women shelter, fund childrens camps in the summer, go to the merchant marine institues weekly to make meals for foreign and domestic seamen. Mens groups collect food, raise money and donate their time and muscle in helping others. They send out volunteers (for ex. to New Orleans to rebuild and clean up) to help in National Disasters. Our Fire Departments and First Aid groups are all volunteer.

Volunteer work of every possible sort gives people a sense of well being, and being useful to their fellow man.

Actualy they are Christians who walk the walk and work. They don't talk the talk and avoid work or use it for a photo op like Sarah Palin.

I am not religious, a Panthiest. Spiritual, because I am psychic. From experience,I know there is more than what we see on the surface of life. So many levels and karma will kick in for vicious indivuals eventually.

I drop in now and again to churches, because the majority are not hypocrits, but actually do use their money, time and efforts to good use.

About the closest to actual organized religion I get is to ask the Fransican Brothers in NYC on 34th Street or in Washington D.C. to give me my yearly blessing.

Otherwise I donate a some of my limited dollars here and there for good works.

Over the years I've done my share of volunteering and helping humans and animals. I don't feel need to do more at present.

When the occassion warrents I pitch in and help.

Animals need help just as humans do.

And daily kindnesses of even the simplest sort are just as important.

dlb44

8/13/2011 02:11:30

I once worked in a VA hospital for several years and was always saddened to see repeat patients that were scooped up off the streets and admitted for a period of time, usually to dry out from alcoholism or due to mental issues. They would get cleaned up, given 3 meals a day, but then had to be discharged back to the streets. Tragic, so your efforts are commendable. Thank you.

Off topic:

Why isn't some investigative journalist helping Shailey Tripp recover her property from the Anchorage Police Dept?

http://shaileytripp.yolasite.com/blog/how-lies-become-truth-part-3-the-media

GhostbusterTX

8/13/2011 02:38:15

I always keep a stock of snack bars in my car (and a couple in my purse too) to give to the panhandlers who are ubiquitous at major intersections here. It's not much, but always appreciated. My child is in charge of refilling the stash in the car and often hands them out.

So much better to teach him to relate to these homeless persons one on one, person to person, and to do something concrete even it is so very small, rather than teach him to avoid eye contact or shake his head no.

(Many thanks to Sarah Hickman for giving me this idea.)

Lureta Whitewing

8/13/2011 16:33:43

Perhaps, Americans should make it a prerequisite that our Politicians, actually spend time with the folks w/o medical care, homes, jobs and 401 k retirement plans. So many in leadership are so far removed from the realities which people are faced. On the other hand we are the richest, fattest and most wasteful/materialist nation in the world..I cannot say with these values and the rhetoric in politics that I am proud to be an American ...I am shamed at the values we collectively propagate and the conduct of our leaders.

curiouser

8/13/2011 16:34:16

Thank you for the thoughtful, thought-provoking, and challenging post, Laura.

Barbara Alfaro link

8/14/2011 01:04:54

A beautiful piece, powerful and true. Thank you, Laura.

Laura Novak link

8/14/2011 01:24:23

Thank you all. And thank you, Karen, for sharing that about your brother. I will try to remember that when I'm at the shelter. Some of the men truly do seem touched by us being there. So many are so mentally ill or substance inhibited that it's difficult to see anything in their eyes. But that's okay.

The church I attend is very socially active and our work at the shelter is a drop in the bucket of what they do in the Bay Area and in Mexico. Deb, it's difficult to imagine why a church would thwart a young person's desire to be hands on.

And Frosty, I cannot imagine the plight of the homeless in your climate. Even on the cold rainy nights of our winters (50's) it's difficult to imagine living outdoors.

You're right, Lureta, it's a disgrace that the politicians to whom we pay so much attention, appear to do so little. And it's only going to get worse.

And Ghostbuster: that's a great idea about the food bars. We often buy an extra meal if we're out, and carry it out. We're bound to see someone on the street who can use it. But I'm going to remember the bar idea. That's excellent. Thank you!

viola-alex

8/14/2011 02:06:58

O/T but not, maybe: my 26 yr old artist son came home unexpectedly last night. he has taken a short-term job to make lots of money in a few weeks-- helping tend a marijuana growing operation. This is the new gold rush in CA. My son knows at least ten young men who are making 100's of thousands of dollars a year growing weed. While many of the operations are in impoverished Mendocino county where law enforcement looks away because pot growing is the only economic hope, my son's current employer lives in a more populated area not far from LA. This man and his wife, new growers, are republicans. They have built a very sophisticated, indoor growing facility. (He was in construction.) They are armed, engaging in illegal activity for the money, and angry at the government. These are middle class "upstanding" Californians who hate blacks, Mexicans -- all poor. They are smug, free-market, no-global-warming, every-man-for-himself Fox News whites who will vote for ANYONE not Obama, even a whacked out religious zealot. (The potential millions$$ that this couple will make are tax-free, of course.) My son fled home, conflicted by what he's experiencing, and wondering if the quick cash is worth the uneasiness he feels about the entire operation. At least I raised him to have a conscience.

I can only advise him like a mom. (NO! Don't go back!) But deeper than all that, is a deep sick sadness that his tale makes me feel, combined with Laura's post and the frightening rhetoric of Bachmann and Perry. I just want to hide from it all, and yet, it's our country, my world. Like the looters with smartphones in the London riots, coordinating their efforts.

I may have to cancel my internet and live as a luddite hermitess -- who focuses on her daily interactions with the live humans in my community (as Laura does) to keep my sanity.

(Thanks for letting me rant. I promised my son I wouldn't tell anyone what he's doing, and you are my only outlet!)

Laura Novak link

8/14/2011 04:44:10

Wow, Viola-Alex, that is a frightening "every man for himself" story. Something very bad must have happened in their lives to shut them down to humanity and open them up to enjoy such hatred.

Sounds like your son found solace in telling you this. Not to mention a healthy fear of the DEA or LA County Sheriff's dept swooping down on the farm.

LA ain't Humboldt county. That's for sure.

What a fascinating story. Maybe these folks will use some of their hard earned cash to feed the less fortunate in their county. Ya think?

Thanks for sharing this story.

Lidia17

8/14/2011 06:26:01

Wow, viola-alex. That is a terrible situation… I don't know what to say but that I wish you both well. The adage goes that a fish rots from the head down, and the increased lawlessness we see seems to come from the fact that people are realizing that the entire game is rigged, and that the rule of law really no longer applies to anyone but the most hapless, inattentive and unfortunate (as well as the remaining minority of ethical people, apparently).

This was a great only-partially-tongue-in-cheek piece I came across about the recent rioting in the UK:
http://nathanieltapley.com/2011/08/10/an-open-letter-to-david-camerons-parents/

… for when people ask "where are the parents?"…

We could come up with our own litany of unpunished lawlessness in the US: torture, war in Libya, bank fraudsters, corporate pollution and breaches of contract, etc. Hell, the Palin Family alone could tie up a courtroom for years!

What would your son do with hundreds of thousands of dollars? Are hundreds of thousands of dollars necessary to live a good life? What about the dangers of these people themselves, if they come to get the idea that your son might be cheating them (even if he is not) or what if they just don't feel like cutting your son in? Not much honor among thieves, and armed and paranoid ones sound particularly dangerous.

I just would hate to see the situation degenerate into a bad Elmore Leonard plot. Take care… {{hugs}}

phantomimic link

8/16/2011 11:50:51

Great post Laura, you and your family are doing a terrific job.

I originally come from a country where there is the ingrained notion that poverty is always the result of injustice. It was upon coming to America that I came in contact with the notion many people have that poverty is always the poor person's fault. While neither extreme is one hundred percent true, poverty can shape your outlook of life and limit your possibilities creating a vicious cycle that most people don't have the chance or ability to overcome.

Many things can happen in our life that may push us over the edge and we may end up joining that food line at that shelter. So yes indeed, it is a blessing to clean up the kitchen after dinner.

Free Range Coffee Editor

8/16/2011 13:47:03

Um, I don't want to detract from the conversation on an important topic, but "Barbara Ehrenreich...doffed a waitress uniform and gave it a whirl"?

"Doffed" is not the word you're looking for here. It's really really not.

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.

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