Funny for Friday

12/9/2011

Not sure how to embed these videos. But here are two links that you might enjoy. This FIRST one is to a secret planning meeting for the Clinton Foundation. This SECOND link takes you to one of my favorite interview formats online. Take a few moments to watch them...any of 'em, all of 'em. I love it when very rich and oh-so-famous share their talent with us for free. And since it's Friday, it's time to lighten the mood here. Besides, the Raiders are playing the Packers on their turf this weekend. And I fear it's not going to be pretty. Have a great weekend!

mistah charley, ph.d.

12/9/2011 08:16:33 am

This is a different kind of funny, but it amuses me, at least. Today I got a book I plan to give to my nine year old nephew - "How to eat a Poem - A Smorgasbord of Tasty and Delicious Poems for Young Readers"

I came across the following juxtaposition - you may well be familiar with William Wordsworth's

"My heart leaps up when I behold"

MY heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began,
So is it now I am a man,
So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me die!
The child is father of the man:
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

On the facing page this anthology puts W.D. Snodgrass's

W.D., Don't Fear That Animal

My hat leaps up when I behold
A rhino in the sky;
When crocodiles upon the wing
Perch on my windowsill to sing,
All my loose ends turn blue and cold;
I don't know why.

Snodgrass has more verses in a somewhat similar vein.

Ottoline

12/9/2011 10:34:43 am

So we're into juxtaposing, are we? Here is my fave, from "Alice in Wonderland":

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box--
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"

At the time "Alice" was written, every child knew the following tedious poem by heart, which the poem above is meant to lighten up.

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Old_Man%27s_Comforts_and_How_He_Gained_Them

Laura Novak

12/10/2011 02:29:06 am

Love them both! Thank you both!

Ottoline

12/10/2011 03:12:58 am

Here's another fave:

Shake and shake
The ketchup bottle;
None'll come out,
And then a lot'll.

mistah charley, ph.d.

12/10/2011 08:21:56 am

Another example of a poem and its parody from How to Eat a Poem:

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

--------------

Variations On A Theme By William Carlos Williams

1
I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next summer.
I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do
and its wooden beams were so inviting.

2
We laughed at the hollyhocks together
and then I sprayed them with lye.
Forgive me. I simply do not know what I am doing.

3
I gave away the money that you had been saving to live on for the
next ten years.
The man who asked for it was shabby
and the firm March wind on the porch was so juicy and cold.

4
Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg.
Forgive me. I was clumsy and
I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!

Kenneth Koch

Sherryn

12/10/2011 01:34:45 pm

Love the juxtapositions posts! Hope everyone's having a great weekend.

When we were kids, we used to go to "real hardware stores", where the creaky wooden floors smelled of linseed oil, The fake, frocked christmas trees with bubble lights, Color by number and model car sets, woodburning kits were stategically placed.

Around this time of year, Dad would take us down to buy new pieces for our ever growring model railroad displays we all worked feverishly on to get done by Christmas Eve.I imagine it must be a chain coffee shop, pharmacy or fast food store now.

My brother sent me this link, and wondered what Dad would say if he were still alive. Amazing how far technology has come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_532463&feature=iv&src_vid=PN_oDdGmKyA&v=ACkmg3Y64_s

Laura Novak

12/11/2011 01:47:43 am

Sherry, thank you for sharing that video. This "train set" takes the cake, that's for sure. and the rest of your poems are fabulous. Makes me think I need to take out a few books and brush up on my wit. Thank you all!

Ottoline

12/11/2011 05:42:03 am

Sherryn -- I do a LEGO electric train around the base of the tree. I got it for my boys yrs ago, but I do love seeing it there each year. I am not a train buff, so the parts get compromised a little more each year. But remembering the train makes me all the more eager to get it out and under the tree.

My favorite humor spots lately are Amy Sedaris and Dave Letterman -- just google videos for the two names. There are about 6 of them, and they are witty. Shows the talent of both of them. David Sedaris is no slouch either, although I have yet to read his books.

Another poetic parody from Lewis Carroll

12/11/2011 08:57:59 am

The Original: AGAINST IDLENESS AND MISCHIEF

How doth the little busy Bee
Improve each shining Hour,
And gather Honey all the day
From every opening Flower!

How skilfully she builds her Cell!
How neat she spreads the Wax!
And labours hard to store it well
With the sweet Food she makes.

In Works of Labour or of Skill
I would be busy too:
For Satan finds some Mischief still
For idle Hands to do.

In Books, or Work, or healthful Play
Let my first Years be past,
That I may give for every Day
Some good Account at last.

Isaac Watts, 1715

Wikipedia: ""How Doth the Little Crocodile" is a parody of the moralistic poem "Against Idleness And Mischief" by Isaac Watts. Watts' poem uses a bee as a model of hard work. In Carroll's parody, the crocodile's corresponding "virtues" are deception and predation, themes which recur throughout Alice's adventures in both books, and especially in the poems."

How doth the little crocodile
Improve upon his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!

Sherryn

12/11/2011 01:10:52 pm

Mrs Ottoline,
Thanks for the Lego idea, will have to find one for our tree. I had a small wooden set that's securely tucked away someplace I once thought would be easy to remember, but either I was wrong or one of my teens hid it someplace else.
I like Amy Sedaris's videos with David Letterman. They play off each other pretty well!

I also feel like I have to polish up on my wit, these posts are amazing!

Ottoline

12/11/2011 02:47:27 pm

Sherryn -- Yes, I know all about "securely tucked away" turning into "gone for good." My worst one was some great-sentimental-value jewelry that I wanted to put into a safe place before leaving home for a week. Of course, upon returning home, I could no longer find it. For TWO YEARS. I was just sick. Then when I did a major cleaning of a closet, I found them: I had put them into a ski glove and tossed the glove deep onto the high shelf, way at the back in its dark corner. I laughed and cried. Just shows that it's good to clean up thoroughly.

Re LEGO trains: I love that company. But the trains come in 3 flavors (of track, wheels, wiring = not compatible). And the flavors change over time. So it's not an add-a-pearl sort of thing where you can add to it forever. So buy what you want all at once. From then on, it's used oldies (which are pretty available I guess). My LEGO-buying days are over.

Ottoline

12/11/2011 03:02:15 pm

Something that SPalin reminded me of many times, as she was being exposed to and trained into the big world during the campaign:

Dorothy Parker was a member of the Algonquin Round Table (a bunch of smart, funny, and well-educated NYC publishing types in the 1930s). They would always be challenging one another. One day, someone ordered Dorothy to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, to prove she knew what it meant. After the tiniest pause, Dorothy said: "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

V-A

12/12/2011 01:17:25 am

I'm feeling quite dull in the head, since I'm not sure what this post is about, but it's also kind of fun reading the random responses with no idea what spurred them.

Mistah Charley: That is a favorite poem of mine. Also, Kenneth Koch a hero to me. I used him often when I was an English teacher. He was a true teacher of teachers, before silly pedogogy took over and ruined the lives of teachers everywhere.

Thank you for the memories.

Apropos of nothing -- my children's first cousin just decorated the East Room of the White House. I only knew Emily as a child (before divorce) but she has grown up to be very talented and thoughtful young woman. You may enjoy her unconventional thoughts on holiday decorating. (Lego Trains she would approve!) I wish I could see more photos of the East Room.

How to Make Your Home Presidential for the Holidays = http://tinyurl.com/7735qlb

V-A

12/12/2011 01:19:23 am

Otto: my next fake name for blogs will be Whore to Culture

Laura Novak

12/12/2011 01:39:08 am

Thanks for that great article about your relative! She's beautiful and reminds me so much of an actress whose face I can place but whose name escapes me at the moment. How wonderful that she was tapped for such an honor.

Yes, good old Dorothy Parker. A blog I really enjoy about the publishing industry recently posted her quotes over a series of days. What a wit she possessed.

New post up!

Ottoline

12/12/2011 01:42:02 am

V-A: Your children's first cousin is gorgeous and so are the photos of her work. Ditto her interview. I love her comment pushing the "trends" question aside with her statement "I love decor that is ridiculous and so personal as to be irrefutable."

The fact that someone with her sensibility was picked reminds me of Jackie's taste in the White House: out with the stiff formal flower arrangements; in with loose, pretty seasonal bouquets.

I'm not sure what this post is about either, but I like the company.

Laura Novak

12/12/2011 01:44:46 am

I concur Ottoline. Imagine the honor of decorating the WH. It's such a gorgeous home and monument to our heritage. And the post can be, and has become, about whatever nice things we want and it's good to see it evolve.

Ottoline

12/12/2011 01:57:36 am

More on your relative, V-A, and pix of the E Rm:

http://tinyurl.com/7vaj274

Sherryn link

12/12/2011 11:24:36 am

VA
I can't fathom the logistics and planning such a beautiful space, I love Emily's outlook on using natural elements to decorate. Having her talent regognized by the White House is truly an honor!
I hope this brings her business much success, her family must be so proud!

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Funny for Friday

Laura Novak

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