I slid into the bench of our usual window table and uttered profuse and profound apologies to everyone. Elspeth just waved her gnarled hand and said, as if she were black and hip, “Ain’t no thang” without looking up from a pill bottle she was trying to open.
“What is it with this school and everyone and their pills?” I asked handing Carlos my tote bag to place on the bench next to him. The horrible Goth creature was seated again at the table to my right and I wasn’t sure whether or not to include him in my round of hellos. So I lifted my eyebrows and smiled limply. Sydney was busy admiring the many rings decorating Vlad’s fingers before our favorite waiter could toss a strand of Day-Glo orange hair out of his eyes.
“Would you prefer Kvass or Pinko?” he asked.
“Remind me what Kvass is again?”
“A fermented drink. Sort of like beer but tastes more like piss. You’d like it.”
I rolled my eyes. “And the Pinko?”
“Pink lemonade. Shall I put you down for one?”
“Yes, and replace one of those sesame rolls in the Proletariat Platter with a second tofu blini, would you?” Elspeth took my hands in hers. I had broken out in a sweat from racing to get to lunch on time. She felt like she’d been waiting in the walk-in freezer.
Sydney said, knocking her knuckles gently against my head. “How was the doctor’s appointment? How are Zach’s legs?”
“They’re aching a lot lately. But the doctor doesn’t want to do anything about it right now.” I blew out just enough air to get a strand of curls off my face. “Anyway, it’s always something. Ten years of some sort of medical drama or worry. And I know it sounds terrible to say but sometimes I simply don’t want to deal with it anymore.”
Sydney squeezed her arm around my shoulder and pressed her face into my hair. “I know how you feel. Not about the medical stuff or my boys, though I’d like to knock their heads together often enough. But for me, it’s my ex.”
“Oh yeah. This is a good story. This should cheer you up,” Carlos said with barely disguised sarcasm.
“No, no, I’m not aiming to top anyone or distract them from their own pain. I’m just saying that my blonde hair, blue-eyed surfer boy who thinks anyone gives a shit about the pukka shell necklaces he sells down on Telegraph…that he was and is the biggest fucking mistake of my life. Well don’t get me started.”
“Gladly,” Carlos said, snapping open a small notebook of his own. “Where were we then?”
“Telegraph, as in this Telegraph Avenue?” I asked Sydney.
“Yup, right down there by the university. Even has his favorite corner. All the pukka shells you can wear. What a loser. What was I thinking?” she asked shaking a napkin into her lap.
“What were you thinking twice?” Elspeth said, winking at me.
“Yeah, well, those boys are my best mistake ever. My worst mistake was swearing at Dick DeNutti the other night. Which is why we need to come up with a plan, fast, before he fires our sorry asses. Pass me a piece of bread, Els.” But Elspeth just shook her head no.
“It’s a Collective Basket left over from the people before us. I’m not touching it and neither should you.” She held up the old bread for the bus boy to take off her hands. “Besides, DeNutti isn’t going to fire anyone. Not as long as I have these in my possession.” Elspeth drew two photocopies from the Action File and placed them before us.
“What is it with this school and everyone and their pills?” I asked handing Carlos my tote bag to place on the bench next to him. The horrible Goth creature was seated again at the table to my right and I wasn’t sure whether or not to include him in my round of hellos. So I lifted my eyebrows and smiled limply. Sydney was busy admiring the many rings decorating Vlad’s fingers before our favorite waiter could toss a strand of Day-Glo orange hair out of his eyes.
“Would you prefer Kvass or Pinko?” he asked.
“Remind me what Kvass is again?”
“A fermented drink. Sort of like beer but tastes more like piss. You’d like it.”
I rolled my eyes. “And the Pinko?”
“Pink lemonade. Shall I put you down for one?”
“Yes, and replace one of those sesame rolls in the Proletariat Platter with a second tofu blini, would you?” Elspeth took my hands in hers. I had broken out in a sweat from racing to get to lunch on time. She felt like she’d been waiting in the walk-in freezer.
Sydney said, knocking her knuckles gently against my head. “How was the doctor’s appointment? How are Zach’s legs?”
“They’re aching a lot lately. But the doctor doesn’t want to do anything about it right now.” I blew out just enough air to get a strand of curls off my face. “Anyway, it’s always something. Ten years of some sort of medical drama or worry. And I know it sounds terrible to say but sometimes I simply don’t want to deal with it anymore.”
Sydney squeezed her arm around my shoulder and pressed her face into my hair. “I know how you feel. Not about the medical stuff or my boys, though I’d like to knock their heads together often enough. But for me, it’s my ex.”
“Oh yeah. This is a good story. This should cheer you up,” Carlos said with barely disguised sarcasm.
“No, no, I’m not aiming to top anyone or distract them from their own pain. I’m just saying that my blonde hair, blue-eyed surfer boy who thinks anyone gives a shit about the pukka shell necklaces he sells down on Telegraph…that he was and is the biggest fucking mistake of my life. Well don’t get me started.”
“Gladly,” Carlos said, snapping open a small notebook of his own. “Where were we then?”
“Telegraph, as in this Telegraph Avenue?” I asked Sydney.
“Yup, right down there by the university. Even has his favorite corner. All the pukka shells you can wear. What a loser. What was I thinking?” she asked shaking a napkin into her lap.
“What were you thinking twice?” Elspeth said, winking at me.
“Yeah, well, those boys are my best mistake ever. My worst mistake was swearing at Dick DeNutti the other night. Which is why we need to come up with a plan, fast, before he fires our sorry asses. Pass me a piece of bread, Els.” But Elspeth just shook her head no.
“It’s a Collective Basket left over from the people before us. I’m not touching it and neither should you.” She held up the old bread for the bus boy to take off her hands. “Besides, DeNutti isn’t going to fire anyone. Not as long as I have these in my possession.” Elspeth drew two photocopies from the Action File and placed them before us.