I waited for someone to cry, “You’re on Candid Camera!” to no avail.
“You’re joking, right? I don’t belong with those fat cats. You go, Elspeth.”
“Not on your life. There’s a lecture at the Y on Chi Nei Tsang that I’m very interested in.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Taoist Medicine,” Elspeth elucidated.
“No, not that,” I replied, lifting Zeppo off the bench to steer him out the door. “Sydney can go as your date, Carlos.”
“Sydney has her own date. An old widower on the Board who inherited billions and once grabbed her boob.”
“He did not grab my boob,” Sydney groaned with disgust. “He fell against it when he had a mini-stroke during the centennial parade.”
“Look,” I waved my hands, thinking it best not to escalate the argument. I just typed the stupid guest list. I wasn’t invited.”
“Consider yourself invited now,” Carlos said, taking Elspeth’s elbow while she leaned her other hand on the cane. She bent forward to pat the Goth’s face goodbye.
“Yes, then you can give me an update on what Lady DeNutti served, and if she made one of her magnificent cakes.
"Bring me home a piece. I’ll put it under my pillow.”
“But….”
“But nothing,” Carlos interrupted. “Larry, you haven’t met my partner Larry yet, but Larry has no desire to go and as the only faculty member the Board deigns to speak to, I simply must be there. Besides, I hate Dick DeNutti. He needs to have his neck waxed.”
My thoughts were swirling despite that last disturbing image: would I be able to hold my own in conversation with the Board members; what if the place was full of Sonya Sterlings; and what the hell would I wear?
Carlos pushed open the door to Telegraph Avenue with his back while popping open an umbrella for Elspeth. He squinted against the rain and then tossed his head once more in my direction. Cars roared by and the weather and noise were overwhelming.
“So, meet me there at eight?” he shouted.
“Carlos, I don’t even know where there is!”
“Don’t worry. You can’t miss it. Drive to the top of Grizzly Peak as high as you can go. And when you find the glass house with the gorilla glaring down at all the sycophants breathlessly climbing his driveway, you’ll know you’re in the right place.”
“You’re joking, right? I don’t belong with those fat cats. You go, Elspeth.”
“Not on your life. There’s a lecture at the Y on Chi Nei Tsang that I’m very interested in.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Taoist Medicine,” Elspeth elucidated.
“No, not that,” I replied, lifting Zeppo off the bench to steer him out the door. “Sydney can go as your date, Carlos.”
“Sydney has her own date. An old widower on the Board who inherited billions and once grabbed her boob.”
“He did not grab my boob,” Sydney groaned with disgust. “He fell against it when he had a mini-stroke during the centennial parade.”
“Look,” I waved my hands, thinking it best not to escalate the argument. I just typed the stupid guest list. I wasn’t invited.”
“Consider yourself invited now,” Carlos said, taking Elspeth’s elbow while she leaned her other hand on the cane. She bent forward to pat the Goth’s face goodbye.
“Yes, then you can give me an update on what Lady DeNutti served, and if she made one of her magnificent cakes.
"Bring me home a piece. I’ll put it under my pillow.”
“But….”
“But nothing,” Carlos interrupted. “Larry, you haven’t met my partner Larry yet, but Larry has no desire to go and as the only faculty member the Board deigns to speak to, I simply must be there. Besides, I hate Dick DeNutti. He needs to have his neck waxed.”
My thoughts were swirling despite that last disturbing image: would I be able to hold my own in conversation with the Board members; what if the place was full of Sonya Sterlings; and what the hell would I wear?
Carlos pushed open the door to Telegraph Avenue with his back while popping open an umbrella for Elspeth. He squinted against the rain and then tossed his head once more in my direction. Cars roared by and the weather and noise were overwhelming.
“So, meet me there at eight?” he shouted.
“Carlos, I don’t even know where there is!”
“Don’t worry. You can’t miss it. Drive to the top of Grizzly Peak as high as you can go. And when you find the glass house with the gorilla glaring down at all the sycophants breathlessly climbing his driveway, you’ll know you’re in the right place.”
RSS Feed