Speaking of that crazy bitch from Berkeley

There I am, face down in four feet of water and I notice, among the worms and bugs on the bottom of the pool, a partial band aid. Now, we've all forgotten that random bandage now and then, so I can't fault anyone for losing one in a public pool. I mean even I, Crabby Appleton of all times, would not assume someone just peeled the sucker off before a flip turn and let it float into deeper water. But damn, if the chick who tossed her gum on the locker room floor and then purposely chose to not throw it away, wasn't swimming one lane over. I'll be honest, I hate her sleek style. I hate her absence of fat. I hate the size of her speedo and the way she slices through the water. But as I pushed off the wall, I hated even more the fact that I'd decided the skank probably HAS separated a soiled band aid from her skin and let it float where it may. I may be fat and a floater, but like all good Berkeley-ites, I recycle